


i have dreams about the days, driving through your sunset breeze

by sugarlipx



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst, Dreams, Grief/Mourning, I made myself sad with this, M/M, Minor spoilers for Royal, Persona 5: The Royal, just talks about dialogue changes from akechi's updated social link, what is being a writer if not projecting onto your favorite characters??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:08:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24427762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarlipx/pseuds/sugarlipx
Summary: "It looks like the thieves were Goro’s friends too, like he was just a normal member of the Phantom Thieves. Like he always has been. Like he never forced his way into their group and lied and lied and lied so he could press the end of a cold, cold gun against Akira’s head and fire-What?"
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 3
Kudos: 74





	i have dreams about the days, driving through your sunset breeze

**Author's Note:**

> Grief is ugly, grief hurts, but you can't escape it licking at your feet before it wraps around your ankles and drags you into its abyss.

He’s visiting again tonight.

Akira feels like he floats instead of walks into the entrance of Leblanc. He feels the air conditioner blast against his face as he comes in from the heat. This summer has been a scorcher, and he really hopes the heat lets up soon. 

It’s summer, right? It sure feels like it.

On the other side of the door, all of his friends are crowded around one of the beat up booths. Ryuji’s watching over Futaba’s shoulder as she shows him a new game they had both been anxiously waiting to come out, and he cheers when she finally breaks the concentrated look on her face and snickers in what looks like victory. Haru and Makoto sit side by side, impossibly crushed close together while Haru rests her head on the other’s shoulder. They both look very at peace, and Akira just knows they’re holding hands under the table.

Ann holds out piece after piece of sushi to Morgana, and he happily accepts each bite she feeds him. Yusuke is sitting in a chair at the head of the booth, and Akira thinks he can see his friend scribbling out the scene from his own point of view. Akira will have to ask if he can put the drawing in his ever growing shelf of gifts from all of his friends.

They all seem so wrapped up in their respective moments that they don’t seem to realize that the bell on the entrance rings when he enters, but someone else does.

Goro Akechi leans against one of the booth’s seats, and he looks like he was taking in the scene in front of him himself. He wasn’t watching from his normal seat at the counter like Akira would expect him to, though. He looks like he was part of all of this, like he belongs there, like Akira’s friends weren’t just Akira’s friends, as he knows Goro has always viewed them.

It looks like the thieves were Goro’s friends too, like he was just a normal member of the Phantom Thieves. Like he always has been. Like he never forced his way into their group and lied and lied and lied so he could press the end of a cold, cold gun against Akira’s head and fire-

What?

Goro Akechi leans against one of the booth’s seats, and he notices Akira come in.

Goro Akechi looks up to meet his gaze, and the most genuine and loving smile spreads across his face. Akira thinks he’s never seen Goro with a smile made purely of truth.

He pushes himself off the booth and walks over to meet Akira where he stands. He grabs one of Akira’s hands into his own, and presses soft kisses on his knuckles. Akira opens up his hand to hold Goro’s cheek, and he feels the other press his face into his touch.

He looks so at peace like this.

Akira wishes he could paint over all the memories of Goro’s hurt, sad, struggling expression he could see through the shattered black mask with this expression instead.

_My very existence is nothing but a scandal._

What?

“Where have you been?” Goro asks him.

“I could ask the same of you.”

“How so?” There’s a light chuckle in Goro’s voice, “I’ve been waiting here, for you.”

“You’ve been waiting for me?”

Confusion shows in Goro’s furrowed brow as he now takes both of Akira’s hands into his own, “Of course, as I do every night.”

_I was extremely particular about my life, my grades, my public image, so someone would want me around!_

“Every night?”

_So how? How does someone like you have things I don’t?_

Goro nods.

_You’re not satisfied with where we left it either, are you? Isn’t this what you really wanted?_

“Every night.”

_You and I are going to strike and strike until one of us is d e a d!_

Dead…

_You’re just pieces of shit who lick each other’s wounds! Anything goes, if you say you’re teammates!_

That’s right.

_I don’t need… teammates… I don’t._

Akira feels the tears start to slide down his face, and he feels Goro’s hands slip out of his own to hold Akira’s cheeks in his palms. 

“Where have you been?” Akira chokes out through a sob.

Goro gives him a bittersweet smile, “You know where.”

_His signal is… gone._

“I can’t keep having these dreams, Goro,” Akira shakes his head, but places his hands over Goro’s own. He can’t forget his touch he won’t he-, “I can’t keep remembering every night that you’re dead.”

“You know I’m not the one that keeps me here.”

Akira lets out a humorless laugh, “I can’t forget about you. I have to change his heart, I have to keep our promise, I have to hold onto your glove.”

Goro brushes a thumb over Akira’s bottom lip, “You will, I know you will. That’s always the most annoying thing about being your rival, how damn stubborn you always are.”

“Please, just…” He needs this. As much as these dreams hurt, as much as he hates it, he loves Goro and he needs this.

Goro slowly, painfully slowly, closes the distance and presses their lips together. It’s soft, innocent in nature, and Akira feels himself all but sob into the kiss. 

Akira’s hands find their way to Goro’s cheeks, needing to hold him close and savor this cruel and fake moment. He feels Goro wipe away the tears still streaming down his cheeks, but not letting go of their hold on Akira’s face.

After what feels like an eternity and a few seconds all at once, they break apart. They stay close, though, and Akira presses his forehead against Goro’s own.

The world has been so cruel and so kind to Akira. It puts him through hell, and he gets the best people he has ever met out of it. It gives him the power to change the world, but the burden of it all rests heavy on his shoulders.

It gives him Goro Akechi, who truthfully made his life hell while he was trying to deal with said burden. It gives him Goro Akechi, who likes jazz and aquariums and billiards and battles of wits. It gives him Goro Akechi, who put a silenced gun to Akira’s temple and pulled the trigger. 

It takes away Goro Akechi, a bastard child born into a world that used him until it was ready to throw him away. It takes away Goro Akechi, who just wanted to mean something to someone, to be loved, to belong.

Akira wishes they had met sooner, too, at a time when Goro would’ve let Akira give him all of those things. He had tried during the all too short time they knew each other, god he had tried, but Goro refused to let him.

So, every night since Goro died in his father’s palace, Akira dreams of him. It hasn’t been that long, when Akira wakes up it’ll be Christmas Eve, but every dream feels like an eternity and drains him before his day has even begun.

“I love you.” Akira tells him, knowing he has to go soon.

Goro presses a kiss to Akira’s temple, even in Akira’s dreams he won’t say it back.

“Don’t forget our deal.” It’s his own way of saying it back.

“I would never.”

And then Akira wakes up.

He stares up at the ceiling, feeling fresh tears fall over dried ones. He reaches under his pillow, and holds Goro’s glove in both his hands.

He holds the glove up to his face, and presses a kiss to the palm of it. 

“Let’s keep our promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> my first p5 fic!! I'm working on more, but I wrote this one last night because that shit Do be therapeutic, and finished it quicker than I expected! 
> 
> Grieving life losses is a necessary and healthy thing no matter how much we try to avoid it. Here's to better dreams!


End file.
